I was flipping through craigslist today and came cross a job posting for Web Freaks worthy of a ticket to planet clue. Let’s take a trip down the rabbit hole.

We are seeking a highly motivated Level 3 (Highest Level) Linux System Administrator to
maintain and administer approximately 500 LINUX servers in a Kissimmee, FL based Data
Center. $50K per year starting pay, no other benefits are provided as of now. Prior customer
service experience is a plus. Prior Linux experience is a must and cPanel experience is a very
large plus. Must be flexible with hours. On call required. We prefer that your life is not occupied
and you are willing to devote full attention to this company, our assets and our customers.

First, managing large clusters for only $50k a year without benefits? Laughable. Second, an unoccupied life? Sounds like code for indentured servitude. Web Freaks is clearly the kind of employer that doesn’t engender a desire to give of oneself in the pursuit of greater profit. Here’s a hint: treat someone like a valued, respected employee and he’ll move mountains for you. If you instead treat him like a tool, you’ll be stuck writing authoritarian nonsense like this job posting and be found wanton.

So, with that in mind, let us continue.

 - Capable of producing effective resolutions:
    we want you to think before you execute commands / respond to clients

Heh.

- INTEGRITY and HONESTY. IF YOU LACK INTEGRITY OR HONESTY DO NOT APPLY.
- Clean Appearance, well groomed, good manners are all necessary
- The ability to maintain a professional relationship with your employer,
    and maintain respectful manners at all times to your employer and fellow workers 
- Good speaking skills. MUST SPEAK ENGLISH FLUENTLY - NO EXCEPTIONS 
- Required to live within 15 minutes of the data center for rapid response.
    No Remote Technicians allowed 
- AGE: A MATURE PERSON over 30 years old with life skills and experience 
- EXTREMELY COMPETENT IN GENERAL 
- TIME MANAGEMENT IS A REQUIREMENT. If you are not an expert in Time Management
     (ie: getting to work ON TIME, MAXIMIZING YOUR OFFICE TIME FOR THE COMPANY, etc)
     then you do not need to apply. We have a strict policy about being at work on time and etc.

Seeking a professional? Understandable. Not paying a professional size salary? Oops. And yes, requiring someone to live within 15 minutes of a data center is going to require more compensation.

Someone with life skills over 30 isn’t going to work in central Florida for 50K, no benefits, within 15 minutes of a colo facility whilest being on-call 24/7, interacting with customers, and managing at least three other employees.

Yeah, wow.

 If you are not this person, a person who is wanting to strive for success and greatly
appreciate the company you work for, then please, do not apply. 

In closing, please bow before the greatness of your employer. Work is life!

Sounds like someone needs to yank his ass out of his greatness and realize your employees are your partners in success and failure. Treat them as valued individuals and they’ll serve you well. Treat them poorly and they certainly won’t appreciate you or your company.

CL post, for as long as it lives.