So strange I can’t help but convey my recent experience picking up a pizza I had ordered over the phone for carry out at the only Domino’s Pizza in Columbus, Mississippi.

Having called ahead, after some moments I proceeded to drive to Domino’s on Main Street and pick up my order. I always pick up, because I find it’s 15 to 30 minutes faster and it’s cheaper as I needn’t tip the driver, even taking the cost of fuel into consideration. (I get plenty good gas milage and the distance was less than 10 miles, city driving.)

I arrive at the Domino’s around 9:30 p.m. to find, strangely, that said Domino’s has, wait for it: A drive through window. I have never before seen a Domino’s with a drive through window, but there it was.

I, of course, wanted to go in, but my companion wanted to utilize the drive though. (She’s not a native Mississippian.) Not being the one driving, I ultimately agreed with the plan to engage the drive though window. Unfortunately, there was a Mississippian in a large American made truck already at the drive through window. After some moments, the window attendant did not appear to be conversing with her in any manner whatsoever.

I found this behavior somewhat strange, as it’s difficult to move traffic along if you fail to interact with customers as they engage the drive through window. After some more moments, I decided it would be best to actually enter the physical Domino’s store to pick up my already prepared pizza which I had called ahead for twenty some minutes earlier.

No dice, as the door was locked. As I approached, the attendant at the drive through window came around from the counter to shout through the glass that the door was locked and my entry was not permitted. He claimed he had not the keys. I expressed my desire to give Domino’s money in exchange for my pizza. He expressed disinterested in providing me with any service.

Disappointed, I returned to the vehicle. Not to be discouraged by this strange behavior on the part of Domino’s, I found myself still waiting on the woman in the American made truck sitting at the drive through window. The attendant had since returned to the drive through window, but was still not interacting with the aforementioned woman. I surmised she was waiting for them to prepare her order, apparently either unaware or more likely disinterested in the fact that another vehicle had appeared behind her. The Domino’s staff that evening appeared equally uncooperative.

I produced my cell phone, flipped it open, and called the Domino’s location from 15 feet away from the front door. A woman inside eventually answered, and I explained the situation. She was unmoved. Did Domino’s really not want my money? After a brief discussion with the woman inside, on my cell phone, parked in the drive through lane of the Domino’s 15 feet from the locked entrance, I finally achieved a breakthrough. The woman said something to the attendant, who asked the Mississippian in the truck, who apparently at this time was still entirely unaware of the situation, to drive around the structure. She put her vehicle in gear and moved slowly forward.

Finally, we had arrived at the Domino’s window to acquire our already made pizza, some ten minutes after we had arrived at the Domino’s location itself. And, you guessed it: Domino’s took some five minutes to produce our order and actually deliver it to us through the car window. Then, some more moments while I waited for them to process my credit card. I seriously considered taking the pizza and moving along.

From this experience I have discovered a few things: 1) Domino’s in Columbus, Mississippi does not want your money. The Papa Johns is actually just down the street for your convenience. 2) From this and other experiences, it seems a fair share of Mississippians can’t be bothered to get out of their cars and even the local Chinese cuisine restaurant had a drive though! 3) If you’re getting jerked around at a store’s physical location and no one wants to serve you, try calling the store’s number as often phone calls have higher priority than physical customers at places driven by phone orders 4) In my opinion, the native Mississippian in front of my car on the evening in question is an idiot